Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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