dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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