Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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