You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
