My brain says no but my pants say off.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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