We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
