I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
