I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
