season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
