after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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