So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.