I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding