If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.