I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
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I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
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Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround