Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize