did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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