ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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