i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
