could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
