It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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