Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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