we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
