Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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