wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
