Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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