I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
