Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
