smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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