3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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