My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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