I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
