what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
