Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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