somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This house was built for laser tag.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
