she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
