dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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