Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

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(619): View more from California

Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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(954): View more from Florida

It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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(254): View more from Texas

He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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(860): View more from Connecticut

We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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(480): View more from Arizona

library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling

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(706): View more from Georgia

By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".

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