You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My balls are so social today.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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