am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
