To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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