whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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