She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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