White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
