Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
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Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
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Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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