New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
