I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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