Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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