You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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