The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
