This girl is more easily done than said...
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
