You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize