weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
