All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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