What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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