: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
