And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
