you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
