What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Screwed.edu
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
