no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
