You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Randomize
