3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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