My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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